The stressor I chose was poverty, I chose this stressor because
of a person that I knew in jr high and high school. My friend, Luna, grew up
very poor in a 1 bedroom apartment in a poor part of town with her mom and her
two sisters. I met this family through my church, and I got along well with
Luna, I chose this family because my family helped them out a lot. My family gave
Luna weekly rides to church and youth group bought food for and helped them
out when we could. I believe in a normal situation like this, the person would
be grateful for the help and appreciate a good friend, that was not the case. Luna
eventually became a spoiled brat, she was consistently expecting my family to
buy her food and give her rides whenever she wanted. She would complain when we
had to leave somewhere when the event ended instead of hanging out more with friends.
It got to the point where I did not want to hang out with her because I just
felt like she just wanted things from me. I was by no means rich or necessarily
had money, but my parents always made sure we could afford food and special
stuff once in a while. Eventually, I started to tell her no when she asked for a
ride or when she wanted something from me, I just wasn’t able to support
both of us. Once I stopped giving Luna everything she wanted, we drifted apart, and
slowly, we were no longer friends. I share this story because I think it is
important to understand that sometimes people aren’t always grateful, and we can’t
just continue to give them what they want. Luna coped with poverty by finding
someone to help her and then taking advantage of them, it has been so long now
that I don’t remember if they received any help from the state.
I chose to look more into Ireland about poverty, I discovered
that over 760,000 are living in poverty, with 230,000 of those being children (https://www.socialjustice.ie/content/policy-issues/more-760000-people-are-living-poverty-ireland-which-over-230000-are-children).
Social welfare has helped decrease the amount of poverty in Ireland a lot, and
they are still trying to come up with a solution to poverty. Ireland has published
10 policy proposals in order to help reduce poverty (https://www.socialjustice.ie/content/policy-issues/more-760000-people-are-living-poverty-ireland-which-over-230000-are-children).
The recommendation to address children poverty is as follows:
* Maintaining adequate adult welfare rates is
vital to ensure that low-income families do not fall below the poverty line.
* Child benefit remains a key route to tackling
child poverty, especially for those families on the lowest incomes. It is also a very effective component in any
strategy to improve equality and childcare.
* Decent rates of pay and conditions are extremely
important to support working parent.
Individuals working full time should be able to earn enough income to
provide a decent standard of living for their families – a minimum acceptable
standard of living.
* Many working families on low earnings struggle
to achieve a basic standard of living.
Making tax credits refundable is an efficient and cost-effective
solution to help working families on low earnings (https://www.socialjustice.ie/content/policy-issues/effects-child-poverty-are-deep-and-long-lasting).
Poverty and homelessness has a
lasting on effect on children, a study showed that children in poverty have a
varied and complex issues (https://www.socialjustice.ie/content/policy-issues/effects-child-poverty-are-deep-and-long-lasting).
I was shocked to learn this information when I think of poverty, I typically
have not thought of the effect on the children. I was surprised to learn how
much poverty can affect children, not just temporarily but for life. I am glad
to see that Ireland is working on their poverty and are making children a priority.
You're post hits right at home. Poverty is extremely high in my area, too. Also, my family did not raise me and my siblings with a lot of money, but my parents always made sure that we had food to eat and clothes to use. During my time in secondary school, I had a couple friends of mine take Cooperative Education with me. We would have to go off campus and work to build experience, and I had a friend who always asked for rides. My parents made me take the car because it was easier to have me take a car than to constantly drop and pick me up. My friend also started to take advantage of that. I was getting constant calls to pick up and/or drop off during work. After a while, I got really annoyed by it that I called him out. We had a falling out and sort of argued a bit. We didn't speak for a couple months, but we are still friends today. Nice post!
ReplyDeleteHi Mary,
ReplyDeleteI found your post interesting. It makes me wonder what other mitigating factors played in to your childhood friend's behavior. Could the behavior have stemmed from insecurities of not having dependable resources in the home? Also, could it have been influenced by parenting or lack of parenting skills to encourage work ethic or social and friendship skills? Since they were in poverty, was the mother working extended hours in a low-income job that inhibited her from providing the parenting Luna needed, so Luna attached to those who could provide for her? She may not have had the social skills and wherewithal to understand how her behavior impacted the friendship and that her expectations were unrealistic. Not trying to make excuses. Just pondering, from a trauma-informed perspective, what happened to her. Just thoughts to ponder. Thanks for sharing your story.
Hello Mary,
ReplyDeleteWe shared the topic of poverty and heartfelt concern but from very different perspectives. Your post was most insightful and gave an opportunity to reflect on a providers view. I am a product of extreme poverty during the early childhood years. Unlike your friend, we were fortunate to recover before high school years, but returned during my first stint in college. This experience has taught empathy and stoicism in the face of personal adversity and for those in need of service. Thank you for the post.
Wishing you well,
Travis Alumbaugh
Mary,
ReplyDeleteI have came across people like Luna. In my experience they take the kindness of others and abuse it. I have shared resources that would help them sustain but they never would utilize it. They would rather sit back and wait for someone to give them something, oppose to trying to get things themselves. Don’t get me wrong I will help someone as much as I can but sometimes you can help a person so much that you put yourself in a bind. It's great that your family helped as long as they did.